Book Club: Seriously....I'm Kidding {Review}

I just love Ellen DeGeneres.  Sometimes I think that all I need in the world to make me smile is to watch Ellen dancing on her show.  I've also been a fan of her HBO stand-up special Here and Now for years {if you haven't seen it, you need to check it out....start to finish laughs}.

As soon as I heard about Ellen's newest book, Seriously...I'm Kidding, I knew I had to put it on my Christmas wishlist.  Whether it was written in the style of a memoir or simply just for entertainment, I knew I could count on Ellen to put out a book that was worth my while.  {For the record ~ it's extremely entertainment-based, and I couldn't be happier}.

The chapters in Seriously...I'm Kidding jump around from topic to topic, much like a comedian's stand-up show.  Nothing is written in chronological order or even related to the chapter before or after it, and it doesn't need to be ~ it's more like a collection of thoughts and anecdotes on topics ranging from the lack of social skills in todays society to the importance of sleep; from strange dreams and dream interpretation to her judging stint on American Idol.  If you read through the book imagining Ellen's voice reading the dialogue {or if you have the audiobook}, you will be completely entertained from beginning to end.

Here are a few excerpts that made me chuckle.  This one is from the chapter "Social Skills"...

Nobody writes letters anymore, which means nobody has pen pals.  I remember when I was probably about ten years old I had a pen pal, and writing letters back and forth with him was one of my favorite things to do.  His name was Steve and he lived in one of those huge mansions that's so big it has a name.  It was called the Louisiana State Penitentiary, and he told me it was even bigger than the mayor's mansion.  We'd send letters back and forth and he'd ask me to send him my favorite books and small pieces of metal or wood that were lying around and all the money I could find in my house.  And I'd gather them all up and put cute little stickers of cats on the packages and send them away.  It was so fun.  Eventually we stopped writing because I moved to another city and he moved out to live on his own.  He called it "solitary confinement".  I was always so impressed by his vocabulary.

From the chapter "Gambling Tips"...

I used to love going to Las Vegas.  What a clean, healthy town that is.  Here is a fun fact about Las Vegas:  You can literally do anything there.  Anything.  You can smoke in casinos, you can drink four jugs of tequila at once, you can try to spin yourself around on a roulette wheel while wearing only a piece of string on your bottom if you so desire.  But what you cannot do under any circumstances ~ and I found this out the hard way ~ is eat almonds at a blackjack table.  That is a true story.  I once tried to eat almonds at a card table and I was told by the dealer to put them away because I wasn't allowed to eat them there.  Sexual encounters with an escort?  You got it.  Wildly inappropriate public intoxication?  Anytime!  Having a little protein while doubling down?  How dare you even think about it, you stupid, stupid fool.

And from the chapter "Sleep"...

After you yell "Shoot!" your wife or husband or son or daughter will wake up from all the commotion.  Your son was probably awake anyway because he just got home after sneaking out of the house to meet his friends in the mall parking lot.  That's always been your greatest fear.  You worry that he goes there to cause mischief but really he's a good kid who just wants to fit in and hang out with his friends.  He's actually never even touched a cigarette let alone smoked one, or smoked anything for that matter.  I mean, one time he tried cocaine but that was only because his friends told him it was sugar and who doesn't love sugar?  Especially after sleeping with a hooker.  I'm not saying your son slept with a hooker, I'm just saying everyone loves sugar.

If you love Ellen DeGeneres, or if you just love to laugh, I think you'll love this book.  It took me a week to read it {or, really, a few hours ~ an hour here, a half hour there over the course of a week} and it was great to get a laugh in before bed.  Plus, when the back cover of the book makes you laugh out loud as you stand looking it over in Target, I think it's a sign that you're in a for a great read.

Have you read Seriously...I'm Kidding, or are you planning to?  What are your thoughts?

xoxo
Bean

{photo credit:  stagetimemagazine.com; whisperedconversations.blogspot.com}

Say it with a Free E-Card

You know those times you want to drop a note to someone to say "Congratulations!", "Happy Birthday!", or "I'm So Glad We're Friends!"?  Or those times you want to send someone a message just to make them smile?  Or those times you're bored out of your mind at work and want to kill time on silly websites ~ and then maybe share with someone so they can kill time while they're bored at work too?  Enter {among other excellent time-killing sites} the world of free E-Cards.

I've used someecards for a year or so now, and I just discovered Bluntcard today.  Sarcasm is the name of the game on these sites, which is why they're right up my alley.  Someecards is a more extensive site, but both offer e-cards in a wide variety of categories ~ birthdays; jobs; current events; relationships; friendships; apologies; and almost every holiday imaginable {actually, probably literally every holiday imaginable}.  Someecards also has sports; babies; get well; graduation; music and movies; and more ~ plus, they have an E-Invite section.

Both sites have cards that contain some saucy language {Bluntcard seemed to have more}, so if you're easily offended you may want to beware.  Someecards and Bluntcard both have the option of emailing your E-cards, or sharing them via Facebook, Twitter, and various image-sharing sites.

Overall I prefer someecards ~ they have a much wider selection and their cards are funnier in general.  I did find some that made me crack a smile on Bluntcards too though {like the two I posted here}.  

So whether you're looking to kill time, or send a message to that special someone {who speaks the languages of sarcasm and humor, preferably fluently}, or if you're just looking to kill some time and get a chuckle yourself, give these E-Card sites a try.  I usually send them "just because".  Life's short ~ sometimes, you just need to be silly.

Hope these made you smile!


xoxo
Bean

Owling -- The New Planking

You all remember "planking", right?  I think the trend has mostly died down {although looking at these pictures, I'm not sure why ~ I still find it hilarious}.  If you're not familiar with planking, here's Wikipedia's definition:

"Planking" (or the "Lying Down Game") is an activity consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands must touch the sides of the body and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the internet is an integral part of the game.^[1] Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play.^[1] The term planking refers to mimicking a wooden plank. Rigidity of the body must be maintained to constitute good planking.
Since early 2011, many participants in planking have photographed the activity on unusual locations such as atop poles, roofs and vehicles, while some "plankers" engage in the activity by planking only their upper body and feet while leaving the back suspended.

Now, my darlings, I present you with a planking variation ~ "owling".  {Wikipedia definition: Owling is a variation on planking in which a person squats "like an owl".^[23] It was first documented on 11 July 2011 in a post on the social news website reddit.}

My night was just brightened when my friend Kaydee informed me of the relatively new owling fad and sent me a picture of her fiance owling:

I'm obsessed!  Planking, owling, or any of the other variations {according to Wikipedia, which has been an invaluable source of information to me on the subject, there are also "horsemaning" and "batmanning" versions} are stupid, yes; but I really do find it entertaining to see all the random and creative places people find to take pictures of themselves doing these silly things.  Life's too short not to laugh as much as possible!

Thoughts?  Have you planked?  Would you owl?  Or is it all just too ridiculous?

xoxo
Bean

{photo credits: whataplanker.com; brisbane-news.biz; rivals.yahoo.com; kaydee; huffingtonpost.com}