Is That a "Tick Tock" I Hear?

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.  ~ Anonymous

To have a baby, or not to have a baby?  And if so ~ how???

Not how how ~ but how on earth do all the logistics work out? The closer I get to 30, the closer I see the end of my childbearing years looming ahead, and the more pressure I feel to make a decision right this minute.  People I went to high school and college with are starting to procreate in full force.  Whenever I meet a new little bundle of joy, naturally my heart skips a beat and I think "Well, of course I want this in my life".  Whenever I come across a screaming toddler, or even just a normal toddler being a toddler, I think "Well, I probably don't need this in my life right now".

But soft, sweet-smelling newborn or sticky, tantruming toddler ~ how do so many people get all their ducks in a row before starting a family?  People always say you can't wait for the perfect time to have a baby, or you'll never end up having them.  This makes sense to me ~ it's never convenient to spend months {or years} on little sleep; to increase your household spending exponentially without increasing {or possibly with decreasing} your income; to deal with stomach bugs, potty training, temper tantrums and the like.  But people make it work.  I understand that, and I think I'm ready for those types of sacrifices.  But I am a planner, and although I'm a happy person, I am also a worrier.  And because of these traits, I cannot get around the fact that it doesn't seem like my husband and I will ever be prepared {financially, mostly} to start a family ~ at least not before we're also ready for retirement.  So how do people do it, and everyday no less?

I have always wanted kids.  I was barely out of diapers myself when I started demanding to hold the babies at every family function {lucky for me, I have three younger brothers and eight younger cousins}.  I carried my poor brothers around on my hip until they were practically school-aged, and I started babysitting in middle school.  In the past few years, however, I've realized that whenever I spend time with friends children, even just for a couple hours, I leave exhausted.  At 29, am I already depleted of the energy it takes to keep up with little ones?

I've also always wanted to have a big family ~ I am one of five, and God-willing I have always hoped that I would have more than one or two children.  I love the relationships I have with my brothers, and I think sibling relationships are completely unique than any other type of friendship or relationship you have with other people your age.  I want my kids to experience that as well.  Homes full of kids are also full of happy {most of the time} chaos, conversation, laughter, lessons, and love. But with big families come big expenses ~ how can anyone afford kids these days?  I want my children to be able to have the sports, dance and music lessons they want; to be able to afford a shirt or a pair of jeans from whatever the trendy store of the moment is at that time {fingers crossed that Hollister's time has passed by then}; to be able to receive the coveted toys of the year on Christmas morning.  I don't need to be wealthy enough to lavish my children with whatever they want; but I want to be able to give them some things without breaking the bank.

There are so many other questions I have about knowing if or when you should start a family {Buy a house in this economy?; What if my baby is colic?; Could we afford for me to stay at home with the kids, and would I want to?; What if I get postpartum depression?} but this could very quickly turn from a blog entry into a novella.  I know in my heart I do want children, and even though the logistics really don't add up to me, I'm sure when we're ready as we'll ever be, we'll "figure it out" like everybody else does.  My husband, who once stated "They're just kids ~ how hard can it be?" will perhaps have to figure a bit more out than most.  As Charles Osgood once said "Babies are always more trouble than you thought ~ and more wonderful".  I hope that someday, sooner rather than later, we are ready to experience that trouble and wonder.

xoxo
Bean


{photo credit: heidihope.com}

Junie B. Jones and the Unwarranted Reviews?

I decided I wanted to share the children's book series "Junie B. Jones" with you all, and went to Amazon to pull up an image and get an excerpt or two for you.  Junie B. books have been around since the early 1990's, and my stepmother and I began reading them to my younger brothers a few years later.  My brothers were probably between the ages of 5 to 8 {I think?} when we read them this series ~ old enough to be reading themselves, but young enough to still enjoy being read to sometimes.  It was also a series about a girl, which we were concerned might make them turn up their noses, but they were just as entertained as could be.  How great is it {especially nowadays} to have a child interested in reading a book or being read to, when there are countless overstimulating, electronic distractions available to them?  I think it's fantastic, which is why I was floored when I just went to Amazon and read negative review after negative review for Barbara Parks' series.

Junie B. is a spirited kindergartner, and the books are told from her point of view and in her voice ~ that is, the voice of a five-year-old.  This means words that don't exist but kids use anyway {bestest} and fragments/run-on sentences abound.  It also translates into laugh-out-loud one-liners from this fictional kid.  Junie B. is precocious, opinionated, and outspoken, and that's what makes her books so enjoyable for a parent {or older sister, or babysitter} to read.  She is sassy, she speaks her mind, and she gets into trouble ~ that's what creates an interesting plot line for the stories.  That is also what some parents seem to oppose to.  Some reviewers on Amazon cite Junie's "poor behavior", "atrocious manners" and "poor judgement", as well as "subject matter [that is] inappropriate" as reason to avoid the series.  Positive reviewers say that the Junie B. series has "propelled [their children] into the wonderful world of reading chapter books" and are essential for grade-school classrooms; one reviewer pointed out that they are "written to appeal to your child's sense of humor...and are not meant to be a Book of Virtues".  As of today, out of the 240 Amazon reviews on the first boxed set of Junie B. books, 105 are 5-star, 95 are 1-star, and 22 are 4-star reviews ~ a slight edge in the positive reviews department.

Now, disclaimer ~ I am not a parent.  I have been an actively-involved older sister {especially to my youngest brother, who is 13 years my junior}, a babysitter since the age of 10 or 11 {which is nuts now that I think about it}, and a nanny while I was in college.  But not a parent ~ and I fully appreciate that this means I don't know what it feels like to be a parent, and to make decisions day-to-day that will affect my child and may shape them into the person they're going to be.  That said ~ I don't think I would ever use a fictitious character {literary, cinematic, or otherwise} to teach my child what I feel they should know.  Like Dennis the Menace and Eloise before her, Junie B. Jones is a character intended to be entertaining and exaggerated, not an example of how a child should behave.  Show of hands ~ who here, as a child, watched the Dennis the Menace TV series {in syndication, of course} or '90s movie, and/or read about impish Eloise's exploits at New York's Plaza hotel?  What's that?  Just about everyone?  I thought so.  And did you turn out okay?  Yeah, I suspected as much. :)  {For the record, my brothers are currently upstanding citizens in their twenties, who never sassed their teachers or got into any amount of trouble that isn't normal for any child}.

So, what I intended to be a blog informing you about a children's book series you might enjoy sharing with your youngin's turned into more of an op-ed piece, but that's okay.  If Junie B. doesn't seem like the type of 5-year-old you'd like to introduce your grade-school age child to, that's okay {and younger than grade-school wouldn't be the right audience ~ the humor would go over their heads, and there are few pictures}.  And those parent reviewers have a good point ~ I would never use the Junie B. Jones books to teach my child proper grammar and sentence structure.  When I was growing up, our teachers actually taught us those things though {and also about poetic license, somewhere along the line}, and we just used books for entertainment.

But if you think your kids will get a kick out of Junie B.'s adventures and mishaps, and think they would enjoy reading silly stories about a kid going through the same things they are and, yes, learning from them in the end {First day of school?  New baby in the the house?}, you might want to give her a try.  Barbara Parks' series allowed my stepmom and I to spend quality time with my brothers at an age when they didn't "need" us quite so much any more, sharing belly laughs and forming memories that I still hold on to a good fifteen years later.

I'll leave you with an excerpt from Junie B. Jones' first book, "Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus".

My name is Junie B. Jones.  The B stands for Beatrice.  Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that is all.

I'm almost six years old.

Almost six is when you get to go to kindergarten.  Kindergarten is where you go to meet new friends and not watch TV.

My kindergarten is the afternoon kind.

Today was my first day of school.  I'd been to my room before, though.  Last week Mother took me there to meet my teacher.

It was called Meet the Teacher Day.  My teacher was decorating the bulletin board with the letters of the alphabet.

"I already know all of those letters," I said.  "I can sing them.  Except I don't feel like it right now."

My teacher shook my hand.  Only our hands didn't fit together that good.

Her name was Mrs. - I can't remember the rest of it.  Mrs. said I looked cute.

"I know it," I said.  "That's because I have on my new shoes."

I held my foot way high in the air.

"See how shiny they are?  Before I put them on, I licked them."

Happy Reading!

xoxo
Bean


 

{photo credit: randomhouse.com}